Because we believe we are unloveable, we pick a destructive relationship even when we knew that person had a bad reputation. Unless we learn to recognise and challenge our beliefs, we take such beliefs with us into adulthood and unconsciously make all our choices based on such beliefs.īecause we have decided the world is dangerous, we unconsciously choose to rent an apartment where the landlord is obviously shifty and tries to scam us. Common examples are, ‘ the world is a dangerous place’ or ‘ I don’t deserve love‘. Limiting beliefs are ideas about ourselves, others, and the world we take on board when we are growing up then mistake for facts. This happens if we have negative limiting beliefs. If we try hard to have a better life but keep coming up against difficult situations? It is less likely to be ‘bad luck we have to accept’ and more likely that our unconscious mind is driving us to make bad decisions again and again. What is the worst thing that could happen if I made a choice to move on?.Am I assuming I know what will happen next and ‘ fortune telling’?.
Did I actually choose to be in this situation? Meaning I can also choose to leave it?.And because it can be easier to put the blame on fate, or bad luck, or even other people. We are actually choosing the situation because it feels safer than pushing ourselves forward. These are both not factual statements but assumptions. “ I just can’t leave this relationship, he/she needs me, I have to stick it out”. “I’m stuck in a bad job, there’s nothing better out there”. And if we are not wasting all our time trying to change other people, but are reserving our energy for working on ourselves instead.Īll too often, however, we claim we are ‘going with the flow’ and can’t change something when really we DO have options. Yes, ‘going with the flow’ can make us happier if it means we are open to new things that come after life change. Our attempt to ‘go with the flow’ ends up backfiring in the long term.Īnd if we don’t set boundaries with disrespectful people, we will end up in a constant state of stress that an affect our health. If someone hurts us and we say nothing and pretend we ‘just accept people as they are’? We carry that rage around with us, and project it into future relationships. Blindly accepting people’s actions and attitudes without making your boundaries clear is quite another. A high price to pay.īut accepting others is one thing. So we do have to accept their freedom of choice to be who they want to be, and do what they want to do.Īnd trying to control someone or change someone is not only exhausting, it usually means we sacrifice our own needs and can even lose our sense of self. Should you just go with the flow and accept them and their actions? Or your new boss is controlling and cold.
A 2018 study found that accepting our mental state, our negative thoughts and emotions, was more connected to better psychological health six months down the line than actually accepting a situation itself. The only thing we can control in the face of life change is our reaction.
If we don’t, resentment can build into depression and anxiety, and we can alienate those we love until we are left lonely. Railing against what has happened, rethinking what we could have done instead, and being very angry can be a normal part of the healing process of coming to terms with things we can’t change.īut eventually we do need to move on. A loved one passes away, we are fired from our job, our lovely home is damaged in a flood. This often means accepting a life change that is beyond our control. It sounds good advice, doesn’t it?īut does it work? Will simply accepting everything that comes your way really leave you happier? Accepting life changeĪcceptance can be powerful– if it’s about accepting things we truly have no power over. “Stop trying so hard and ‘go with the flow’”.
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